Uncovering My Purpose: Lessons from Suzy Welch’s Becoming You
My path to the "area of transcendence"
Have you ever wondered if you’re truly living an authentic life? I frequently ask myself that question. After nearly a decade of having a career and searching for direction, I craved clarity. That’s when Chrissy Rutherford introduced me to Suzy Welch’s Becoming You methodology via her newsletter, FWD Joy. After diving into Suzy’s podcast, I posted a TikTok about what resonated with me, and Chrissy graciously reposted it. That video led to an invitation to Suzy’s Discovery Day: The Becoming You Experience at NYU Stern.
As I got off the train at West 4th Street and walked through Washington Square Park, I thought about the many conversations I’d had in New York about MBA programs—programs that seemed unlikely for me, someone who had “retired” from academia after undergrad. But here I was, heading back to school for a one-day workshop to hear from Suzy herself. I was excited to dive into all things career and purpose. To know me is to know that I love self-actualization.
Suzy Welch is an award-winning NYU Stern School of Business professor, tech entrepreneur, podcast host, and three-time New York Times best-selling author. Becoming You isn’t your typical career workshop. This usually semester-long class helps you determine what you should do with your life based on your aptitudes, values, and interests. The process includes taking tests to understand yourself and exercises to process your results. The goal is to uncover what Suzy calls your “area of transcendence”—a place I was anxious to reach!
I’m naturally introspective, but what I loved about Becoming You was having data to back up who I am. For example, learning that two of my core values are beholderism and scope wasn’t a surprise. Suzy helped me understand that my desire for everything around me to be beautiful and my craving for a "big, exciting, chaotic life" isn’t a flaw but a reflection of my true essence. It was liberating to have that language. I’ve always wanted a big life—why else did I move to New York?—but it didn’t always feel good to admit that. Suzy also shared that only 7% of people know their values, which made me wish everyone I knew could take this class. If we had this shared language, we could have smoother conversations, and I would better understand the people around me. The Values Bridge is now publicly available if you want to learn yours! We also discussed how financial security, expectations, expedience, and life events can stop you from living your values. I’ve been there!
One of my favorite exercises of the day was writing out whose life I wanted and what I loved about it versus what I didn’t, to get closer to understanding my values. Every person I picked was financially successful, had a lot of cool opportunities, and used their voice for their career. It turns out that affluence and voice are two core values of mine. One of my lowest values—I’m a little afraid to admit—is familycentrism—the measure of the family as a life-organizing principle. I love my family, but I don’t make many life decisions around them.
Next, we explored aptitudes; as expected, I’m an extrovert. But I was surprised to learn that I am a specialist when it comes to work! I’ve always considered myself a generalist, knowing a little about many things. But it turns out I like to go deeper into one thing. Spatial visualization, or my ability to mentally translate 2D images into 3D, isn’t a strength. I hire a TaskRabbit every time I buy IKEA furniture. I also learned that I’m not bad at math! According to the aptitude test, I could even be a data scientist. So, maybe I just hate it.
We then moved on to career traits. I learned that my strengths include adaptability (essential for a tech career), irregular relationships (the ability to form relationships outside of your comfort zone), and curiosity (I want to know everything).
One of the last exercises was a 360 review to understand how others see us. A few days before class, I asked over 10 people—former co-workers, friends, and family—to take a survey about me. When I received those results in class, it was eye-opening. I learned that I’m a little hard on myself; people rated me higher than I did on my self-assessment. One of the comments stood out:
“Shelbi is an innovator, thinker, and generator. She has no problem putting her thoughts and ideas into the world and challenging convention. She is willing to try new things and do things differently in service of working and living by her truth. Shelbi does this all with an approach that embraces not just herself but her close-knit community and the people she wants to bring into the fold.”
Yes, I want to invite you all into the fold to take Becoming You so we can discuss it!
After PIE360, we explored economically viable industries. This part of the class was fascinating. Suzy encouraged us to think beyond tech, consulting, and finance to understand which industries and megatrends are growing. We researched industries like freight trucking, ship and boat building, and home health care services. We also explored megatrends, and I became momentarily hyper-focused on experiential retail. I instantly thought about the Meta Lab pop-up in LA.
To wrap up the class, Suzy shared a few examples of areas of transcendence from her past students before we had time to write our own. She also had a former student join us in person to share her area of transcendence. With all the information from the past 8 hours swirling in my head, it was helpful to hear someone explain where they landed before I crafted mine. By the end of class, we had time to process everything we learned.
Ultimately, I loved Becoming You. It gave me the language to wrap who I am in a bow. I’m an extrovert who wants a big, fun life where I can use my voice, but I didn’t always have the data to back that up. The class assured me that I am exactly who I think I am, but it also gave me some notes on where I need to be more authentic in those values. I want almost 50% more workcentrism in my life—the value of work as an organizing principle. I didn’t see that coming, but it’s clear that I want to work more on what interests me.
My area of transcendence is becoming a thought leader who explores creativity, social norms, and human behavior.
I leverage my voice to speak at conferences, sharing stories of self-discovery and the importance of building a life that aligns with our core values. I use my platform to challenge societal norms and inspire others to live authentically, encouraging them to embrace their full potential. I write books that reflect my journey and offer insights on navigating life with purpose and intention.
I create spaces and communities that enhance human connection and expression. I am committed to leading with empathy and helping others see their worth, showing them that pursuing personal and professional growth can lead to fulfillment. My life’s work is about making an impact. Through everything I do, I want to be known as someone who empowers others to be their most authentic selves.
The power of Becoming You!
Suzy offers a Three-Day Becoming You NYC Intensive from March 21 to 23 and a Discovery Day: The Becoming You Experience on April 26. She has kindly provided me with a $100 discount code for both classes—the one-day and three-day class code is shelbi100. I highly recommend it if you’re interested!
As always, thank you for reading Define Normal. Please feel free to send me a message to continue the conversation. Otherwise, you can find me on IG, TikTok, or the Define Normal podcast.